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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Mr. Yes and Mr. No: In Denial about My ED
I am not a dense guy when it comes to most things not concerning me. I tend to foresee the punch lines of jokes and sometimes even read between the lines in conversations I am not a part of. However, the first times I ‘failed’ to perform in a sexual encounter, I was totally dense. I won’t even face the possibility, or the notion of the possibility, that it could be a problem. Here’s a proof of how conflicted I was about it. You all know the proverbial angel-devil-on-the-shoulders illustration of how people decide? This describes a person in denial about something; a part of him rebuts a decision before it’s even made.
The ‘conversation’:
Mr Yes: Man, this could be serious, I’d better get help fast or my social life is gone.
Mr. No: I’m just tired, been playing ball all day. And, look at her, she’s not even pretty. She didn’t turn me on at all, but the sex is free so I took it. Conclusion: her fault.
Mr. Yes: Maybe I can skip ball practice today and go for a consultation. Should take about five minutes, and the guys won’t even notice.
Mr. No: Hell, no! They’d know for sure that something’s wrong if I miss practice. Someone might even offer to accompany me to ‘the dry cleaners’.
Mr. Yes: What the F* do I do about this??
Mr. No: I’d better stop worrying about it. It’s making me crazy!
In the end, I spent two hours thinking about it and doing nothing. Indecision is a waste of time, but it’s a necessary step towards making a life-changing decision.
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