Santa Bring My Mojo Back To Me~

It was Christmas time when my girlfriend Suzie (not her real name) finally told me how she needed time off from the relationship, how she couldn't handle any more competition with my time, and that maybe someone like me who spends most of his time with friends won't miss someone like her who's always in the background anyway. She told me these while we were walking around town doing Christmas shopping. She listed my faults as if she was reading off a list. I was not as devastated as I thought I would be. I was almost expecting it.

It's been a while since we got intimate, and although I tried to make it up to her by being extra considerate (letting her choose the movie and where to eat, not sulking while she spends hours in a shoe store etc.), I guess it all boiled down to my 'little problem.' She would never admit it, though. She wasn't that shallow, she said.

Splitting up prior to the big Christmas house party that a common friend is throwing could be a genius social move on her part. We still went together, for old time's sake, but I didn't expect to keep her the whole night. Once word got out that we weren't together anymore, guys were taking turns talking to her as I looked on and nodded in response to the obligatory "hey man, what up" nods.

The homies of course rushed to comfort me with introductions to other girls but I told 'em I wasn't really in the mood. One of the newer members asked me later on about the break up, and I told him it's not bothering me at all. He noticed though that I was sipping unspiked OJ and offered his flask. I declined. Did you know that erection disorders are related with too much alcohol intake? A part of me blamed my beer-filled nights for this unexpected affliction , while a part of me was just numb at that moment. The nosy brother still won't leave me alone, so I just told him "dude, I think I lost my mojo for good."

That was a mistake, I thought, as he ran back to the others to report what he learned. Soon, they were all singing a bad rendition of Elvis' hit, Santa Bring My Baby Back To Me. Here's the song:





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